And do not be conformed to this world,

But be transformed by the renewing of your mind,

That you may prove what the will of God is,

That which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1 (New American Standard Bible)

 

The Courage to Stop and Evaluate 

            The picture showed the man who was waiting for the jury to decide his fate watching people freely walking down the streets. Knowing he would probably never experience such freedom, what must have gone through his mind?  I wondered if in these moments, his thoughts were somewhere in the line of How did I get here? This isn’t the way my life was supposed to go.

            For sure, this example is extreme, but haven’t we all come to a conclusion where we asked, “How did I get here? How did this credit card get so high? Where did I lose myself in this relationship? How, how, how?”

            I will call her Laura. She reminded me that all relationships, not just romantic ones, can be toxic as regular friendships have the potential to hurt us. She said that at some point, she had to stop and evaluate a couple of friendships by asking, “How did I get here with these people. They don’t see me as a friend, but seem only interested in what I can do for them.” Laura continued, “Though it was destressing and uncomfortable, I knew for my own self-preservation the best thing for all of us was for me to completely step away in one case and step back in another.” When asked how she felt about the change now that it’s been a while, Laura responded. “I’m sorry we couldn’t all be friends, but I’m glad at some point I realized the need for doing things differently and was willing to deal with the discomfort to get on the other side. There’s much less drama in my life now.”

            For years I rejected credit cards, but when my mother moved too far away for me to drive, and flying became the mode of transportation, a credit card seemed necessary. The problem started when I never took time to study my credit card statement and make plans for how to pay off a recent trip in a timely manner. Also, if I’m totally honest, paying off the debt would mean sacrifice and I didn’t want to suffer. So, the expenses of trip after trip built, and then other necessary expenses were added to my balance. By refusing to stop and evaluate the reality of what was owed, and possibilities for getting it paid off, I incurred an unnecessary large debt. 

            Thought: As we walk our life’s path, at times we’re called on to rethink our journey. It may come in the prick of conscience as we get out the credit card. It could come from a warning that we need to stop____ or start____, but because often it’s just not convenient, the admonition is disregarded, and ignoring the signs can lead us to destruction. This was never so obvious to me as when I stood at two different bedsides of young men who had lived unhealthy lifestyles and finally their bodies were giving up. Knowing they were dying they spoke of the anger and frustration they felt because of the thoughtless way they had lived.

Recently, my writing almost ended. Believing the morning hours were the times for me to write, I had followed that schedule, careful to make appointments for the afternoons. This gave me a chance to finish my book and start blog posts. As so often happens, life changed. Those peaceful hours gave way to home improvement, an overwhelming process.

During this time, my writing became almost nonexistent and when I did try to come up with blog posts, nothing worked. I had writer’s block. Confusion set in which made me wonder if my time for writing was over.

 Faced with the frustration of the writer’s block, confusion, and more life changes, I had to stop, reevaluate, and renegotiate my writing times. Through this process of evaluation, I was able to work out those days that are dedicated to writing. With these choices, the writer’s block lifted.

            Whatever our journey, those pricks of conscience, the understanding that we may need to change our way of doing something, discomfort with the status quo, unforeseen changes are just some of the ways we’re invited to stop and self-assess where we are so the future will have a smoother path.

            Let me finish this blog post with a story. Recently, a friend and I were standing in the yard watching a mother squirrel. She had her two babies and was releasing them to be on their own. One of the babies came up into my yard and tried to climb my leg! My yelp scared him and he ran over and stopped. Seemingly scared, my suspicion is he wanted his mama and to go back to that comfortable nest, but his life had changed. After a short time, he went over to the tree, jumped on the trunk and stopped. As he kept looking at the top limbs, I felt I could almost hear him saying, I think I can climb higher, but what if I fall? I’d really like to go back to my nest. It was so comfortable, but wow, to be able to go all the way to the top of the tree. Finally, he scampered to up the trunk and jumped onto the limbs, starting his new life.

            Just as the squirrel, we too experience change. Yes, that known nest is cozy and feels secure, but being willing to deal with the discomfort of leaving it gives us the chance to go higher that we possibly ever thought.